" LOST"

Today I was reminded of a childhood memory, and it was so ironic because it’s rare that I remember the details of my childhood. This memory was different, the specific details were etched in my brain like a rhythm from a hit 90s R&B song. I could remember the exact day, the clothes that I wore, who I was with, and even the feelings that I felt. Memories are sometimes the reminders of our life lessons. Whether good or bad, memories can spark a thought but also create a vivid picture of the past. The day that I remembered this memory I was triggered by the feelings of the actual day.

I was in Walmart, I had to be like 8 or 9 years old. I’m sure it was around Easter because I remember baskets and candy all around the store. I was shopping with my mom and sister and somehow, I got lost. The initial thought of being lost was not so bad. You know how we desire to do adult things at a young age, until it is demanded of you and becomes a responsibility. Then we totally despise it. Like driving, paying bills, house chores, and rent. Yeah, that’s how it started. The idea of being lost was fun and exciting. No supervision means I could do whatever I wanted to do. I could go play in all the toy aisles and eat all the grapes from the produce section. Those were my exact thoughts! Don’t judge me! I’m thinking, yes, free time!

As a child I had no concept of time at all so after a while of wandering, I began to get scared. I panicked! Where was my family? It felt like I had been lost for hours. I started having thoughts of never seeing them again and surely, I was becoming hysterical because at this moment my feelings were real. Of course, the truth is they hadn’t left me, but my emotions painted a picture that became reality in that moment. Yikes, that’s a sermon but we will save that for another time. Here I was lost, and the thoughts of never being found was something that caused me anxiety. Have you ever been lost? Do you know what it feels like to wander? Let me be the first to tell you it's a scary feeling as a child but it’s even scarier as an adult.

So fast forward to a few years ago, I was sitting in a cubicle at work when I walked off my job because of frustration. At the time, I didn’t realize how lost I was. Being lost as an adult looks a whole lot different than it does when you are a child. It's more than just scary. There are so many other emotions that come along with it as an adult. Lost as an adult looks like wandering. The word wandering means to move in a leisurely, casual, or aimless way which is exactly what was happening in my life. I was moving but with no direction and no real destination which became frustrating. Growing older without purpose is dangerous to your self-worth. You will look up one day and wonder what am I living for? What Is my purpose?

Without purpose it’s hard to assess your location and it’s impossible to figure out the destination. The one thing about being lost as an adult you don’t notice that you are lost right away. You experience the effects before you even recognize how lost you have become. Listed below are symptoms that I felt and helped me to identify that I was lost and in the middle of an identity crisis.

-Disappointment

-Discomfort

-Discontentment

-Hopeless

-Brokenness

-Fearful

-Lack of pursuit

-Pain

-At a breaking point

-Question my gifts

-Lost

-Lack of passion

-Lack of pursuit

-Depressed

-Doubtful

-Overwhelmed

-Overworked

-Miserable

-Questioned my self-worth

These emotions were so constant in my life that I did not recognize them. I was so numb to the pain, and it took for me to be denied of some things that I desired so badly to finally assess and locate the reality of my feelings.

Today I want to challenge you to locate yourself. Ask yourself some hard questions. Do you know who you really are outside of what people have told you? Are you currently walking your purpose? Have you ever discovered it? If you begin to ask yourself these questions and you have a hard time answering them, then it’s possible that you may be having identity issues.

Here are 10 ways to overcome identity issues.

1. Find out the foundation of who you are by studying Bible Scriptures on identity.

2. Find outside help. (Therapist, Mentor, Pastor, Teacher, etc.)

3. Focus on things that make you happy.

4. Identifying your gifts and talents.

5. Affirming yourself with the good things you know about yourself.

6. Do not internalize external judgments.

7. Search inwardly for answers.

8. Practice self-love and being patient with yourself.

9. Try new things.

10. Search your family history for answers to discover similarities about yourself and your bloodline.

Learn to consistently assess of where you are. It is a necessity for measuring your growth. I went through a major Identity crisis that landed me into one of the best places of my life. The end of my identity crisis was the beginning of a place called purpose! If you desire to grow and develop throughout the obscure moments of finding your identity. You can purchase my book at https://py.pl/pHsVY